Healing is Not a Linear Process

My name is Marnie Levy Smith. I am a mother, a wife, a daughter and a friend. I am also a life coach and I help people who are stuck, overwhelmed and in pain, reclaim their lives and feel better. I specialize in taking people from a place of pain to a place of peace by coaching them to think about their thoughts and own their unique stories.

I believe that I am good at what I do because I have lived with and worked through many difficult situations in my own life and now find joy and satisfaction in helping others do the same.

Healing is not a linear process

When you get a cut or an injury you will have different levels of healing depending on the depth and severity of the wound.

Some wounds are surface and can heal quickly with minimal damage.

Other injuries require more attention. They may need pressure to stop the bleeding. Stitches or surgery to heal things underneath the surface. Some wounds take a very long time to heal. They leave us with scars, bruises and can sometimes cause serious pain and irreversible change.

Healing of our physical body is similar to the healing of the heart and mind.

Healing from a loss, a death, a divorce or break up, a diagnosis, an addiction, or an accident can take tremendous time and effort.

Most deep wounds of the mind, heart and body change the trajectory of what we thought our lives would look like.

Healing on this level is not linear.

True healing can only begin when we allow ourselves to acknowledge our pain at its source…accept that we have experienced something that may alter our very own human experience, and then take action.

We individually get to decide how we are going to handle our pain. Sometimes we need to sit with our pain for a long period of time. Sometimes this pain can literally and figuratively cripple us. The road to healing then becomes a choice.

9 and a half years ago I got a phone call that my husband, the father of my children and my partner for 16 years had past away. This phone call changed the trajectory of the rest of my life. This laceration went directly through my head, shattered my heart and drowned my soul. Initially, I did not allow myself to feel the pain.

I armored up and soldiered on to be strong for my children. My role had shifted from mom to sole parent and I did not take that lightly.

Years passed and looking back I can admit that my healing journey did not truly begin until I went through the many complicated stages of grief, battled through my anger, my pain, my sadness. I numbed my pain by ignoring it and it was not until I found life coaching and learned how to manage my mind that I finally decided to re claim and own my story. True healing was only possible by accepting Eric’s passing as part of my unique story. I decide on most days that his passing is not good or bad, it just is. The actions that I have taken - are to remember all of the good things we experienced together and share that with my kids. I made the decision to stay close with Eric’s family and keep my kids involved with my in laws and our cousins. After many years of doing the best that I could for myself and my kids…After picking up the pieces and verbally proclaiming that Eric’s death will not define us and explaining to my kids that I was their physical parent and Eric was their spiritual parent and guide… after finding a new loving partner to share my life with - and - who I trusted to help me nurture, teach and care for our children together…… years later, I finally allowed myself to surrender more and truly heal.

For me, that meant finally letting Eric back into my heart. For a long time I blocked this. I could not and would not understand that this was even possible. My healing went to an entirely different level.

My hope is that I can be an example of what is possible. If you are in pain or if you want to heal from a past trauma, know that it is possible. I will admit that the pain does return from time to time but there is more peace in my heart, body, mind and soul. Eric is a part of me, of Jake, of Emily and he lives inside of our hearts and comes around a lot these days by sending us messages of support and love.

Wishing you and your loved ones continued healing for your physical, your emotional and your spiritual hardships and pain.